Targeted parent, take heart. This can be a drawn out process, but your children’s future depends on your efforts. Balance your aching heart with the future emotional well-being of your children as they mature to adulthood. Your unconditional love and patience can achieve this. There is no greater love.
“Children and parents who have undergone forced separation from each other in cases of parental alienation, are highly subject to post-traumatic stress, and reunification efforts in these cases should proceed carefully and with sensitivity. Alienated children seem to have a secret wish for someone to call their bluff, compelling them to reconnect with the parent they claim to hate; despite strongly held positions of alignment, alienated children want nothing more than to be given the permission and freedom to love and be loved by both parents”. (Baker, 2010)
“In reunification programs, alienated parents will benefit from guidelines with respect to their efforts to provide a safe, comfortable, open and inviting atmosphere for their children. Ellis, (2005) outlines five strategies for alienated parents:
(1) Erode children’s negative image by providing incongruent information;
(2) Refrain from actions that put the child in the middle of conflict;
(3) Consider ways to mollify the anger and hurt of the alienating parent;
(4) Look for ways to dismantle the coalition between the child and alienating parent and convert enemies to allies; and
(5) Never give up on reunification efforts.
“As much as possible, Warshak (2010) recommends, alienated parents should try to expose their children to people who regard them, as parents, with honor and respect, to let children see that their negative opinion, and the opinion of the alienating parent, is not shared by the rest of the world. This type of experience will leave a stronger impression than anything the alienated parent can say on his or her own behalf”. (Excerpts from Edward Kruk Ph.D.Co-Parenting After Divorce in “Parent-Child Reunification After Alienation, Strategies to Reunite Alienated Parents and Their Children”, Psychology Today.com)
This is where Counseling on Demand comes in. You need not go through this alone. We know parent alienation and what to do about it. With our support, you can get through these times no matter how long it takes.
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