It has long been known that trust is key to a loving relationship. There is another key equally crucial- forgiveness.
The perfect relationship – finding your “soul mate”, the one with whom you can place your trust to always be there for you, to be open, to be honest, to be someone on whom you can always depend.
Trust, however is but one side of the coin. The other side is forgiveness. Forgetting this basic reality is setting yourself for great disappointment. After all, we are imperfect by design. We make mistakes.
Trust can be broken. A broken trust can be perceived as a betrayal by one partner even though the other partner does not see it that way.
Betrayal has many levels. A minor betrayal is still a betrayal. It can still hurt a lot
Not keeping a promise to call when you will be late
“Bad mouthing” each other to family members or friends.
Breaking a promise to give up bad habit(s) or addictions
Lying (even a “white lie”)
Affairs (not necessarily sexual, but emotional)
This is where forgiveness comes in. Couples who practice forgiveness are more likely to enjoy longer, more satisfying romantic relationships– even longer lives!
For the betrayed partner:
Take care of your self
Feel your emotions. Don’t suppress them.
Express how you feel; in a diary or even a letter to your betrayer (careful with this one)
Take time for yourself. Ask your partner for some personal space.
Be careful not to make a life-changing decision such filing for divorce (not just yet)
Speak with someone you can trust
Choose to forgive
Try to forgive (not necessarily to condone)
Let go of the negative feelings. Focus on yourself and well-being
State your forgiveness to yourself. Speak or write the words privately.
For the betrayer:
Apologize and try to make amends.
Say the words, “I’m sorry”. Repeat until forgiven.
Forgive yourself. Practice genuine self-forgiveness—which focuses on the process of working through a transgression and trying to accept the self (shame, guilt, self-flagellation) while still acknowledging wrongdoing (as opposed to simply replacing negative emotions with positive ones)
For the betrayed;
Express your experience of the betrayal.
Ask for an apology.
For both partners:
Reflect together on what happened.
Decide on your mutual goals.
See a trusted mental health practitioner together
This where Counseling on Demand.com comes in. Any member of our team can help you to get through your relationship struggles. Our counselors are trained and experienced with couples.
That’s us, Counselingondemand.com. You two need not go through this alone. You needn’t leave your favorite/private place. Nor must you wait for an appointment. We are always there for you. You can begin in 24 hours or less.
With our support, you can get through these times. Talk Therapy is not just talk. It is the formation of a unique relationship. It’s the relationship itself that heals.
Why online??? Online, you can get help NOW.
Contact us now. Talk to us now- free consultation.
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