Giving up is so much easier than continuing on. There is a saying “don’t give up on hope”. However, that is what most of us end up doing because we don’t see any other way out. Hopelessness occurs when we have given our full potential and nothing seems to work or meet our expectations. Knowing the underlying cause for hopelessness could help us change things better for ourselves.
Our Parents Are Our Main Source to Blame
Stating this, I am not saying to actually go and blame your parents. They may have not known any better. Therapist Kristina Randle answered a personal forum question on Psych Central from a user who asked why they give up so easily. She stated that it’s a learned behavior coming from the people we grew up with. Furthermore, our parents may have not pushed us to go further. Instead, they may have relied on the attitude that if you wanted to quit something then you should.
Kristina brought up to the user that we are always going to want to quit. That will always be on our minds. However, it’s only when we pay attention to the reason why we’re quitting that we actually quit. Nonetheless, she reminds us all that quitting or giving up is a learned behavior. This learned behavior can most likely be unlearned.
Teal Swan on Hopelessness
Teal Swan is a spiritual teacher on Youtube. She describes hopelessness as a trapped situation with no way of getting out. Similarly to Kristina, she states how hopelessness is deeply ingrained into our childhoods and how our negative thoughts are an accurate reflection of our reality. When you are facing the issue directly, you need to ask yourself what you feel trapped by or between. Meaning, what is the gist of what you are feeling?, In quote, she states, “Hopelessness is indicative of the fact that we feel powerless to meet a specific need. We are not consciously aware of what that need is.” Meaning that not meeting the specific need puts us in a feeling of the unknown and we lack control of the situation. She suggests to look at your situation of hopelessness and discover what that need is. Once you do, brainstorm alternative ways that you could have that need be met.
Ultimately, feeling hopeless is not an “end all, be all” type of situation even if it feels that way. In my opinion, the best thing you can do is accept your situation and find something that will help you feel a little better. It doesn’t have to be anything huge. Discover what’s new around your neighborhood, buy yourself some flowers or cologne or get some pizza and binge on your favorite show. The point is to ease up on yourself and find a distraction for a little while. When you gain clarity, you’ll feel better about your situation. Your best source is distraction. Distract yourself enough that you feel better and then take the first step to change.