The happy go lucky, glad-hander, go to person, always happy and upbeat. That is how those depressed cleverly cover it. We have seen the most public figures with these habits; Mike Wallace, arguably the most talented interviewer ever, Terry Bradshaw, probably the best quarterback of his generation. Both deeply depressed and most courageous in finally publicly expressing the depth of it in their lives.
Depression probably goes the most unseen, unrecognized and certainly undiagnosed of all mental states ever. Why? Stigma, self-threatening of the true self and least sought after treatment. A great percent choose not to seek help.
The 11 Habits:
- They may intentionally make efforts to appear OK and maybe even seem exponentially happy and upbeat; hiding how he or she is truly feeling.
- They may have habitual remedies. Habitual music, exercise, driving, walks; anything they know can get themselves out of a sinking set of emotions
- They may have trouble with abandonment.Fearing that ugliest layer of self is too ugly for someone you love to handle.
- They can be pros at “cover-up” stories.
This can be for anything from the cuts on their arms to the reason they skipped dinner; whatever it is, they know how to hide it.
- They may have abnormal sleeping and eating habits. Sleeping too much or too little or eating too little or too much.
- They may understand substances differently; uniquely savvy of the mitigating effects of ubiquitous caffeine, sugar, alcohol
- They may exhibit a very involved perception of life and death: furiously and unceasingly seeking answers to all of life’s questions without letup.
- They are often uniquely talented and expressive. They are often uniquely in touch with the good and bad pieces of their souls and are able to express them in beautiful and inspiring ways.
- They are often searching for a purpose; trying to compensate in their life for the frailties that they have inside.
- They at some times will release subtle cries for help; which can be easily overlooked.
- They seek love and acceptance, as every person does.But depressives do so for protection; protection of their hearts. protection of the people around them. protection of the success of their dreams. Actively avoiding feeling alone.
(11 Habits of People with Concealed Depression, Huffington post, Dec 02, 2015)
What can we who care do to help?
Take the time to look. Many of these wounds do not easily reveal themselves to those who do not.
Acknowledge their, oh so subtle cries for love and acceptance. Never turn away. Love even when it’s difficult. Reach out with an open heart.
If you’re looking to support someone with depression but can’t exactly figure out what to say, mental health experts offer
7 suggestions of what to say:
“I’m here for you.”
“You’re not alone.”
“This is not your fault.”
“I’ll go with you.”
“What can I do for you?”
“What kind of thoughts are you having?”
Nothing at all. Sometimes your presence alone can be supportive
(Lindsay Holmes, Deputy Healthy Living Editor, The Huffington Post)
This is where online Counseling on Demand comes in. You or someone you care about need not go through this depression alone. With our support, you can get through these times. Talk Therapy is not just talk. It is the formation of a unique relationship. It’s the relationship itself that heals.
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