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Couples in Trouble

Does Counseling always work? How long does it take? Is it expensive?

 Not that long = Not that expensive!

We therapists and counselors are very sensitive to these questions. Much of the time the last thing one partner or the other wants to do is to talk, talk, talk.  There has been enough already!

Be assured:

Neither partner is asked to “bare his or her soul”.  Emotions, faiths, beliefs are very much respected. You are not “psychoanalyzed”, you are enlisted

Another issue is that of time and expense.  Again, be assured; Counselors and therapists have many tools in their tool box. There are short-term methods that can be very effective- one to fit you.

One of these “tools” is termed Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT); a “tool” which is based on the emotion of the loving relationship in question- love, one definition of emotion above all else. After all, what is love but an emotion?

 Emotionally focused therapy (EFT, Sue Johnson, a contemporary psychotherapist and the co-creator) an intervention based on scientific study of adult love and bonding processes in couples, is designed to address distress in the intimate relationships of adults. Strategies from emotionally focused therapy can also be used in family therapy to help family members connect and improve emotional attachment. Couples seeking counseling to improve their relationships may find this method a beneficial approach, as it can help people better understand both their own emotional responses and those of significant people in their lives.

Therapists and Counselors who provide emotionally focused therapy typically work with couples and families to help facilitate the creation of secure, lasting bonds between intimate partners and family members and reinforce any preexisting positive bonds, with the goal of helping those in treatment increase security, closeness, and connection in intimate relationships. (

As Dr. Johnson and colleagues have developed, we at Counseling on Demand follow these 9 steps together with you:

Stage One: Cycle De-escalation

  • Step 1: We Identify key issues of concern.
  • Step 2: We Identify ways negative patterns of interaction increase conflict when key issues arise.
  • Step 3: Your Counselor assists in the identification of unacknowledged fears and negative emotions related to attachment underlying negative interaction patterns.
  • Step 4: Our task is to reframe key issues for the you in terms of negative patterns of interaction, underlying emotions and fears, and each individual’s attachment (there are 4 major types) needs.

Stage Two: Changing Interaction Patterns

  • Step 5: You, as an Individual and as a couple are assisted in voicing both your attachment needs and deep emotions.
  • Step 6: As Partners, you are coached in ways to express acceptance and compassion for a partner’s attachment needs and deep emotions.
  • Step 7: As Partners, you are coached in the expression of attachment needs and emotions while also learning ways to discuss those issues likely to cause conflict.

Stage Three: Consolidation and Integration

  • Step 8: Your counselor coaches you as a couple in the use of new communication styles to talk about old problems and develop new solutions.
  • Step 9: You both learn ways to use skills practiced in therapy outside of session and to develop a plan to make new interaction patterns a consistent part of life after therapy.

That’s it.  Counseling time may be relatively short in numbers of sessions.

And convenient too. We are online at

We are only a click away.

I am the Founder and CEO of Counseling On Demand with a Master's Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy with over 25 years of experience in helping Individuals, Couples, Adolescents, and Families who struggle with a wide variety of Life's Challenges. I thus have developed an Array of Effective Counseling Tools and Evidenced-Based Interventions to help you towards Your Road to Better Mental Health and Wellness. You are Never Alone...I look forward to meeting with you or your family member soon!