How each divorced parent handles it can make the difference
Jackie Pilossoph, “There are two very difficult emotions that almost everyone going through a divorce experiences for a long time: Anxiety and fear. If you think about it, it makes sense. The unknown can be scary and stressful, especially when it comes to children, finances, living alone, the divorce process itself, maintaining a relationship with your ex, and dating.” (Jackie Pilossoph, How to Handle Anxiety and Fear During Divorce, Huffington Post, October 2016)
But what about your children?
Men and women contemplating divorce worry about the effect on their children. All caring parents should. Answering how divorce affects kids is as complicated as answering how marriage affects children. Good marriages are great for kids! Bad marriages can be incredibly destructive. Bad divorces as well can cause significant harm but a good divorce can go a long ways toward lessening the negative impacts of divorce.
Mental Health America
Tips for talking to kids …
If you have children, here’s a short list of tips that can help your young children and teens cope.
- Reassure and listen. Make sure your kids know that your divorce is not their fault. Listen to and ease their concerns, and be compassionate but direct in your responses.
- Maintain stability and routines. Try to keep your kids’ daily and weekly routines as familiar and stable as possible.
- Offer consistent discipline. Now that your kids may share time with both parents separately, make sure to agree in advance on bedtimes, curfews and other everyday decisions, as well as any punishments.
- Let your children know they can rely on you. Make and keep realistic promises. And don’t overly confide in them about your feelings about the divorce.
- Don’t involve your children in the conflict. Avoid arguing with or talking negatively about the other parent in front of your kids. Don’t use them as spies or messengers, or make them take sides. (Mental Health America, Coping With Separation And Divorce, mentalhealthamerica.net)
This is where Counseling on Demand comes in.
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