Imagine being with someone you like and all of a sudden they vanish on you. They don’t answer your calls or text messages. You think something went terribly wrong with them until you look at their social media pages and see that they are perfectly okay. You, my friend, have been ghosted and you are not alone at this. I, too, share your pain as I have been ghosted one too many times.
Here are some helpful reasons to understand why people ghost.
They are scared of confrontation.
It may not come to a surprise but ghosters are scared to open up and admit their feelings to people. They are afraid to be judged for their nonchalant behavior. More so, if the relationship is toxic, they will dismiss themselves as they see no use in compromising with the toxic person. Which leads me to my next point…
They want to avoid hurting the other person.
This may be counterintuitive, yet ghosters believe that it’s kinder not to engage. Rather than starting with the sentence, “This isn’t working out,” they would leave the person stranded in their own turmoil of emotions.
They find it difficult sticking to their plans.
If the ghoster has too many things on their plate, they may not know how to manage their time. This leads them to put their significant other last on the list. This may be hard to swallow, but once you simmer down from your pain, you will be thankful that things didn’t work out with them as you thought it would. Could you imagine how much worse it would be if you were in an actual relationship with this person? They would be unreliable and constantly neglecting you for no reason. Ghosters are so comfortable with their habit of ways that it may be nearly impossible for them to change. The moral of the story is to allow yourself to experience feeling hurt, just don’t lose yourself in the process. I know, it’s easier said than done. Nonetheless, this person didn’t give you more than what you asked for mainly because they couldn’t. Focus on yourself, and when you least expect it, the pool of partners will come rushing to your door!
Need moral support? Read The Resilient Ghostee to check out my revelation on ghosting and how I gained clarity.